Patrick Metzger

This is not a linear narrative

Hi.Top level:
I’m interested in the intersection of the mysterious and the absurd, which is to say life.

Roles I’ve had: student, dishwasher, punk rock singer, office clerk, various types of manager, including program, project, and product, bank executive, political candidate, TV producer and director, teacher, freelance writer, stay-at-home dad.

BACK ON MY BULLSHIT

Latest numbers confirm that COVID-19 hasn’t derailed catastrophic climate change

New data from various scientific sources confirms that short of a mega-effort which we’re clearly not going to bother with, humanity is fucked.

But wait, you might be saying. Didn’t all the climate stuff go away when Covid came along?

You could be forgiven for thinking so.

With everyone running…

DATA ARE A PLURAL

Healthcare services staggering under pandemic of the unvaccinated

I’ve already ranted plenty about anti-vaxxers, anti-maskers, and generally disagreeable people who ignore public health measures at great cost to everyone. Today I’m throwing out some hard numbers for my province of Ontario which show exactly how much the angry and ignorant few are screwing the rest of us over.

THE GIG ECONOMY SHOULD BE FOR EVERYONE

Be your own boss by becoming a contract philosopher full-time or as a side hustle

Are you a philosophy major who’s tired of hearing Mom talk about how useless your degree is? Or maybe you’ve been using your lockdown time to get acquainted with Socrates and Sartre, and want to make some coin with those skills?

Then we’re looking for you

RuminatriX is taking philosophy out of the ivory tower…

WHY WOULD YOU LISTEN TO ME

As used by billionaires and influencers on “The Internet”

Are you sick of seeing yourself overtaken in your career, your love life, and every other aspect of your miserable existence by people who are slower, dumber, and less sexy than you? They succeed while you fail because they understand the magic of hacking their productivity.

Make 2022 the year…

Patrick Metzger

Dilettante, smartass, apocalypticist. *See “Lists” for stories by genre.* Joining Medium? My referral link is https://medium.com/@patrick-metzger/membership

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