THIS IS NOT APOCALYPSE RELATED

32 Words For Penis and How To Use Them

When “dick” just won’t do the job

As a toddler, I was taught that the stubby urine-spitting item between my thighs was called my peenie. This designation worked well for a few years; it was inoffensive, pronounceable, and only a short phonetic hop from penis.

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Patrick Metzger

Patrick Metzger

Dilettante, smartass, apocalypticist. ***See “Lists” for stories by genre.***